DISQUS

Julie Kerr · 10 months ago

Thanks for the post, its good to know about this.

Arijit · 8 months ago

Hi, This is a letter that I wrote to a person that I had an intense relationship with for 4 years, but now sadly broken and beyond repair. I am married but estranged from my wife....I need help and counselling. I am 40, well travelled and well read (or so I think).....any answers would be valuable....

"Princess, While grappling with what happened to us...I am also realising that for the last few years, I was grappling with something called the "Mid - Life" crisis. The pressure to deliver projects on time, issues with revenues, the jump to the next station in my life, becoming a CEO by 45....classical cases of adrenalin and wondering where do I go next. Today, after 12 days of last seeing you, I realise that I put too much of pressure on both you and myself. The pressure for me to succeed and for you to conform....not ideal but I did. Really don't know how to re-start my life, but re-start I will. I did not see the Trojan Horse for what it was, but rather saw it as something shaped by my ambitions. Today I have nothing, neither a job, nor an assurance of a job, nor you!!! nor the Horse as a matter of fact....:) I am reminded of the Latin phrase..." Beware of Greeks bearing gifts".....this is so true. For a while, I was of an opinion that the only thing that mattered was the career and money, you were always on the outlying vision of things, maybe I should have focussed more on you and less on money.....don't know what to say. Maybe, I should have shouted less and listened more, maybe I should have realised that I was getting to an event in life that would be unmanagable if I continued down the same path. Maybe you should have told me....that I was veering out of control...not told, enforced it! Today the past is a lot clearer, the future a lot more grey. But I will resist, cannot go down lightly. That is just not me. You know the last day that I spent in Mumbai, packing, I often in my minds eye thought of calling you to come over and help me pack.....the only thing that stopped me was your face....watching me as I left the last time from your place. I did not want you think of me unkindly as you had left me a long time back when you felt that I was not what you were looking for...so I resisted myself to the point where I deleted your number(s) from my phones so that I don't call you in a reflex action. But the bloody mind remembers your phone numbers as if by default. Cannot hold my mind to ransom! And neither should you. The pressure(s) to perform, numbers (money), moving to 4 different cities over a 16 month period, tripled with a gnawing sense of physical nothingness (with you sometimes and without you most times)....led me to to be the person that you broke up with, not the person that you fell in love with. This gap and bridge (too far) is helping me realise where I erred. I am still grappling to come to terms with what happened....and my loss. Not my job or the money, that can be easily replaced, but my real loss in terms of a person. You were everything that I could wish for in a lover and a companion.....but then I lost you also. So after 40 years I have a "Zero" to show for in my life. I hope you fare better my love. Kiss, A"